Conversation Starters for Couples (+ Free Cheat Sheet) - Vibrant Christian Living

Conversation Starters for Couples (+ Free Cheat Sheet)

Do you need to talk to your spouse about something that's bothering you (but you don't know how to start the conversation)?

It happens all the time in marriage. And that's when conversation starters for couples can really come in handy.

We must talk through these tough marriage issues if we want our marriages to stay healthy.

Here's how to have meaningful marriage conversations (plus a list of 17 great conversation starters for married couples)!

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Why Every Couple Needs Good Conversation Starters

1) Conversation starters for married couples will help you break through the walls that may be forming in your marriage.

2) My husband and I have found that good conversation starters are helpful because they give us a starting point to talk about tough marriage topics.

3) Good marriage conversations are the foundation for a great marriage because they help couples release any negative feelings that may develop from everyday marriage hurts.

4) Conversation starters for tough marriage issues are essential for any couple who desires an authentic, growing marriage that stays strong for the long haul.

Side note: My grandparents were married for over 71 years and my grandmother will tell you that she and my grandpa didn't have a perfect marriage, but that what kept them strong was that they were always willing to work out their differences.

In other words, they had good conversation starters (for the big and small issues).

They also laughed together. A lot. But that's an entirely different post. 🙂

img class=”aligncenter wp-image-12871 size-full” src=”” alt=”Sometimes things just don’t feel right in my marriage… and I usually realize that there’s some unresolved emotions we need to talk about. Ever feel that way too? Here are 17 conversation starters you can use to discuss those everyday marriage issues.” width=”800″ height=”1700″ />

Which Marriage Conversation Starters Are Best?

First take some time individually and look through the list of marriage conversation starters here, thinking through which ones would best apply to your situation.

Choose the conversation starters that would be the most effective for your marriage relationship right now. There are no right or wrong answers here. Every couple is different.

I've included 8 conversation starters here as a beginning point, but I want to give you a downloadable list of 17 conversation starters for couples–for free.



8 Marriage Conversation Starters

Try these the next time you feel tension in your marriage relationship and need to talk through some tough marriage issues:

I’m sorry that I have…

I feel very loved when you…

I have made the choice to ____________ and I see how that has brought _______________

It hurts me when you….

We have drifted apart because…

I don’t like it when you say….

When _______________ happened, I felt ____________, and it led me to do ______________

I feel disrespected when…

Those are 8 of the marriage conversation starters. If you’d like a printable cheat sheet of these 8 conversation starters (plus 9 others!) to reference for the future, I’d love to bless your marriage with a copy of these conversation prompts!

CLICK HERE to download the free printable cheat sheet!

How Can I Use These Conversation Starters in My Marriage?

1. Use these conversation starters as prompts to understand your own emotions.

It may be enough to just work privately with God on these emotions. There are many times that I  examine my heart in this way and realize that the issue really is me and that I need to just work on it with God (and not even bring it to my husband).

Use these conversation starters as writing prompts in a journal, or pray them aloud as you bring the issues before God. Ask the Lord to help you discern the root of what you may really be feeling.

2. Use these conversation starters as a safe way to share about difficult issues with your spouse.

If it’s clear that God wants you to share with your spouse, do so carefully and cautiously in a safe manner (here are some basic ground rules for safe, effective marital communication). I would encourage you to find a time when you are both fairly relaxed without any distractions (perhaps when the kids are in bed or are with a babysitter) and you can talk uninterrupted.

Listen to what your spouse has to stay. Do your best to listen without bias or expectation of what he or she will say. Listen for where they may be hurting and how God may want you to mend that part of your relationship.


Get All 17 Simple Conversation Starters for Your Marriage

Remember, I've only shared 8 of the 17 marriage conversation starters here. I'd love to send you (in a downloadable cheat sheet) the full list of 17 conversation starters!

The printed version of the marriage conversation starter list is especially helpful if you're like me and you remember things better when it's written down on a piece of paper in front of you (and you have a pen so you can write in some thoughts and responses).

Having a printed version also allows you to give a copy of the conversation starters to your spouse.

Just click here and I’d be glad to send you the full printable cheat sheet of all 17 marriage conversation starters!



I’m praying that these marriage conversation starters will help to clearly see what’s going on inside so that your marriage can be as strong and vibrant as possible!

Other Posts on Marriage You Will Love:

10 Ground Rules for Fighting Fair in Marriage

130 Creative Ways to Say I Love You to Your Spouse

Is Your Marriage Headed for Trouble? 5 Signs to Look For

Real Help for Ongoing Marriage Issues That Drive You Crazy

The 15 Minute Habit That Will Change Your Marriage


Did this post give you ideas on some great conversation starters for your marriage?

If so, please pin and share it so others can be blessed too! Thanks in advance!

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And don't forget to DOWNLOAD the FREE CHEAT SHEET!


About Alicia Michelle

Alicia Michelle is a certified NeuroCoach™, Bible teacher, speaker and host of the Vibrant Christian Living Podcast and You Tube Show. More importantly, she’s a lover of Jesus, a wife of 20 years to her best friend, and mom of four amazing kids ages 18 to 9. Alicia struggled with overthinking, negative thoughts and “being enough” for most of her adult life until God radically transformed her heart after a life-threatening medical crisis. Now through her signature courses and coaching programs she loves equipping women with practical, scientific and biblically-based mindset tools to help them overcome negative thought patterns and discover more confident, joyful lives in Christ. Listen to her on the podcast or on You Tube; download great resources at; and connect on Facebook and Instagram.

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