Need to talk to your spouse about something that's bothering you but don't know how to start the conversation? It happens all the time in marriage. And that's when conversation starters for couples can really come in handy. We must learn how to have meaningful, God honoring marriage communication so we can talk through tough marriage issues.
Here's how to have meaningful marriage conversations (plus a list of 17 great conversation starters for married couples)!
Why Every Couple Needs Good Conversation Starters
1) Conversation starters for married couples will help you break through the walls that may be forming in your marriage.
2) My husband and I have found that good conversation starters are helpful because they give us a starting point to talk about tough marriage topics.
3) Good marriage conversations are the foundation for a great marriage because they help couples release any negative feelings that may develop from everyday marriage hurts.
4) Conversation starters for tough marriage issues are essential for any couple who desires an authentic, growing marriage that stays strong for the long haul.
Side note: My grandparents were married for over 71 years and my grandmother will tell you that she and my grandpa didn't have a perfect marriage, but that what kept them strong was that they were always willing to work out their differences.
In other words, they had good conversation starters (for the big and small issues).
They also laughed together. A lot. But that's an entirely different post. 🙂
Which Marriage Conversation Starters Are Best?
First take some time individually and look through the list of marriage conversation starters here, thinking through which ones would best apply to your situation.
Choose the conversation starters that would be the most effective for your marriage relationship right now. There are no right or wrong answers here. Every couple is different.
I've included 8 conversation starters here as a beginning point.
8 Marriage Conversation Starters
Try these the next time you feel tension in your marriage relationship and need to talk through some tough marriage issues:
I’m sorry that I have…
I feel very loved when you…
I have made the choice to ____________ and I see how that has brought _______________
It hurts me when you….
We have drifted apart because…
I don’t like it when you say….
When _______________ happened, I felt ____________, and it led me to do ______________
I feel disrespected when…
How Can I Use These Conversation Starters in My Marriage?
1. Use these conversation starters as prompts to understand your own emotions.
It may be enough to just work privately with God on these emotions. There are many times that I examine my heart in this way and realize that the issue really is me and that I need to just work on it with God (and not even bring it to my husband).
Use these conversation starters as writing prompts in a journal, or pray them aloud as you bring the issues before God. Ask the Lord to help you discern the root of what you may really be feeling.
2. Use these conversation starters as a safe way to share about difficult issues with your spouse.
If it’s clear that God wants you to share with your spouse, do so carefully and cautiously in a safe manner (here are some basic ground rules for safe, effective marital communication). I would encourage you to find a time when you are both fairly relaxed without any distractions (perhaps when the kids are in bed or are with a babysitter) and you can talk uninterrupted.
Listen to what your spouse has to stay. Do your best to listen without bias or expectation of what he or she will say. Listen for where they may be hurting and how God may want you to mend that part of your relationship.
I’m praying that these marriage conversation starters will help to clearly see what’s going on inside so that your marriage can be as strong and vibrant as possible!
Other Posts on Marriage Communication You Will Love:
- 10 Ground Rules for Fighting Fair in Marriage
- 130 Creative Ways to Say I Love You to Your Spouse
- Is Your Marriage Headed for Trouble? 5 Signs to Look For
- Real Help for Ongoing Marriage Issues That Drive You Crazy
- The 15 Minute Habit That Will Change Your Marriage
- 4 Questions to Ask When Facing Tough Marital Issues
- 7 Best Couples Devotionals to Bless Your Marriage
- 8 Bible Verses About Love in Marriage
- Marriage Issues: What to Keep Silent and When to Share with a Spouse
Get a Proven 30-Day Christian Devotional for Better Marriage Communication
If learning how to have better communication with your spouse is one of your marriage goals, I highly encourage you to pick up this great marriage devotional: Consecrated Conversations.
This awesome couples devotional from my dear friends (and marriage coaches) Mike + Carlie Kercheval goes deep on important topics that matter to Christian couples (everything from forgiveness to communication issues to sex). I love that it's goal is to help you create the healthy habit of better marriage communication in 30 days or less!
This best-selling couples devotional has helped over 16,000 couples build a better marriage!
The Kerchevals, certified marriage coaches, Bible teachers and an awesome married couple of over 21 years, will introduce you to a 30 day, step-by-step proven process for learning:
- how to pray together as a couple
- how to read the Bible as a couple
- how to better communicate about important marriage issues
With three sections in each devotion (including a Bible verse, “Converse & Reflect” questions, and a sample prayer), this marriage resource encourages couples to discover intimacy in marriage like never before.
Consecrated Conversations is a digital resource, which means my husband and I don't need to carry a book around because we have this powerful couples devotional available right on our phones or tablets. Yes!
And there's a bonus video workshop ($97 value!) and 30 scripture cards ($17 value) to go with the devotional!
I love how practical this couples devotional is, and how Mike and Carlie really encourage couples to invite God into their marriage discussions. Only God is the one that can bring true satisfaction, contentment and unity in marriage, right?
I also appreciate that Consecrated Conversations understands the big needs of Christian couples: that we want to communicate and connect with our spouses and we're disappointed and hurt that we can't seem to make it happen. Consecrated Conversations is a specific, proven roadmap for a closer marriage for Christian couples.
I highly recommend this marriage devotional to many couples as the best couples devotional out there! Order your copy here.
P.S. Did I mention that this couples devotional experience (that includes an e-book, a video workshop, and scripture cards) is an INSANE value?! It's only $47 for $161 worth of content.
Seriously, the Consecrated Conversations Devotional is an amazing bible study experience to do with your spouse! What are you waiting for?