In the midst of homeschooling, parenting and homemaking, it's easy for us to take certain things for granted. You know, like that guy we married.
And yet, our marriage is the foundation of all that homeschooling, parenting and homemaking! Without a strong marriage, everything crumbles.
What are the secrets to a strong marriage, even in the hectic homeschooling lifestyle?
This post is Part 5 in the “Homeschool Sanity Savers” series. Don’t miss the other posts:
- Part 1: Monthly Meal Planning, Monthly Shopping, Freezer Meals and the Crock Pot
- Part 2: Daily and Weekly Household Routines That Work for Your Family
- Part 3: 50 Ways to Manage Stress and Encourage Peace
- Part 4: Why Your Classroom Needs a Learning Activities Station When Teaching Multiple Kids
My Thoughts on Having A Strong Marriage.
While I believe that a strong marriage is a gift from God, I also know that one key element is at the core of every strong marriage: intentionality.
For our marriage, this means:
- Saying I love you and holding hands when we go to bed.
- Making it a point to keep flirting with each other.
- Spending regular time in prayer and Bible study together.
- Sometimes putting away the laptop (or the phone) and just focusing on each other.
- Standing united on core issues of parenting and homeschooling and supporting each other's decisions one hundred percent. Always.
- Carrying each other's burdens, including sickness (we deal with chronic illness in our family).
- Kissing and hugging when we first see each other after we've been apart.
- Scheduling regular date nights.
- Finding creative ways to grow our relationship (cooking together, working on a house project, couples massage, etc).
I also try to remember:
My beloved is the one I started with, and one day (when everyone has left the house) he will be the one I end up with.
More Thoughts on a Strong Marriage: 15 Other Homeschool Bloggers Speak!
“Homeschooling is a journey for the whole family. Isolating your husband from the decisions and not making him a part of the journey can easily cause an emotional separation and bitterness to grow in both spouses. Ask for opinions, suggestions and find ways to include your husband in field trips, and evening lessons, to keep the whole family functioning strong all year long.” –Dollie at Teachers of Good Things
“The major difference between homeschooling and a job is that there really is no end to the work day (sort of like blogging!). You need to be intentional about not getting your whole life wrapped up in homeschooling – it's a part of what you do, it isn't who you are. Learn to create boundaries or daily times when you are not focused on homeschooling. Keep your evenings for family time or just for your husband – don't spend that time immersed in a curriculum catalog or the endless loop of homeschool planning and perfecting. ” –Tonia at The Sunny Patch
“Share a cup of coffee together over a Proverb in the morning before the kids get up. This really helps us to put our day and the way we interact with our kids in a practical, Biblical perspective.” —Ruth Visser at Skirted Blues
“Be sure to make time for one another. Do a date night every week where it is just the two of you. Remember to keep the romance alive – my husband and I try to do this even if it is just us hanging out eating snacks and snuggling on the couch while watching a movie on Netflix.” –Sasha at Such A Time As This
“Marriage is about developing each other, not to destroy. By this mindset you will see that every conflict will develop your personality, including the conflict that you get from your homeschooling.” Marcellina at Maria M Living Ideas
“Schedule ‘talk time' with your spouse. Being intentional about connecting through conversation is essential… plus it's nice to have adult conversations.” –Arabah at Arabah Joy
“A marriage is strengthened when spouses agree that they are doing the best for their children. Our time for homeschooling is twenty years in the past, yet it continues to be a source of strength in our marriage as we experience the joy of looking back with the assurance that we followed God's will for our family!” Rosemary at Daily Bouquets
“Life gets busy and it can be easy to neglect the most important person God has placed in your life. After ten years of homeschooling three boys, we have found that a few minutes alone each night to hold hands and talk helps keep us connected. We can't always do weekly date nights (though I would love to) but we can take time to go for a walk together or lock kids out for Mom & Dad movie night at home. The kids actually learn to appreciate that we require time WITHOUT them, and it sets a great example for them & their future.” Kelli at Adventure Homeschool
“I've found that keeping the house neat and clean and putting wholesome food on the table reduces stress for everyone. Comfort and orderliness calms a lot of turbulence in relationships. It's good to teach your kids about service, diligence and life skills, too.” Kerry at Fishbowl Fortune
“No matter how busy it gets, it's important for you to be intentional about having some alone time with your husband. Whether that means putting the kids to bed early or occasional date nights… find ways to have special time with your spouse as often as you can.” Michelle at Homeschool-Your-Boys
“Never stop dating. The homeschool life gets crazy with so much together time sometimes, but you need to guard your alone time too. Schedule it, make it sacred, and during those times concentrate on communicating well and enjoying each other.” –Katie at Paradise Praises (She also wrote an excellent article on this topic).
“I have found that regular attendance at church (and for us as Catholics that includes Sunday Mass & feast days!) as a family strengthens our family and our marriage. Also, teaching my boys to help with chores alleviates stress and allows more mommy/daddy time. Oh, I need to throw one more in there…I leave little notes for my hubby–on his pillow or on the kitchen counter. He says those surprises brighten his day.” Amy at Busy Boys Brigade
“Keeping the end in mind during the long and busy times. Romance the man who will be there after all the children leave home. Make the love of learning the goal, not just getting through the school work.” Dianna (Mom of 4 grads), author of Grapevine Bible Curriculum
“Just as your child has a specific learning style, you will have your own teaching style and homeschooling philosophy, and you and your spouse will likely differ somewhat on this. My husband and I took the ‘What is Your Homeschooling Style' quiz at Ecclectic Homeschooling together, and talked about our answers to many of the questions. It really helped me understand why we were clashing in some areas, but also where we agreed and how we could compromise and move forward.” Gail at Imaginative Homeschool
“Here’s a tip… when the rare date night does happen, be sure not to discuss school (unless you’re at a convention).” Misty at Joy in the Journey
Other posts about building a strong marriage:
The Surprising Secret to Better Sex for Christians
Are Unrealistic Expectations Ruining Your Marriage?
7 Surprising Ways to Make Time for Couples Devotions
About Alicia Michelle
Alicia Michelle is a certified NeuroCoach™, Bible teacher, speaker and host of The Christian Mindset Coach Podcast and You Tube Show. More importantly, she’s a lover of Jesus, a wife of 21 years to her best friend, and mom of four amazing kids ages 19 to 10. Alicia struggled with overthinking, negative thoughts and “being enough” for most of her adult life until God radically transformed her heart after a life-threatening medical crisis. Now through her signature courses and coaching programs she loves equipping women with practical, scientific and biblically-based mindset tools to help them overcome negative thought patterns and discover more confident, joyful lives in Christ. Listen to her on the podcast or on You Tube; download free workshop trainings at VibrantChristianLiving.com; and connect on Facebook and Instagram.
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