Ladies, after more than 16 years of marriage, I've learned that there's a fine art to knowing how to flirt with your husband.
I mean, in the dating years, flirting with your man seemed so simple, right? You smiled. You made lighthearted jokes. Flirting was so natural. You assumed that flirting with your husband would always be easy, right?
But, if you and your husband are like most couples, life changed after marriage (and certainly after kids). You got out of the routine and, suddenly, flirting became second to keeping up with the chaos of family life.
I want to help you recapture that spark in your marriage by encouraging you with some great tips on how to flirt with your man. I believe flirting with your husband is the best way to keep friendship and fun the focus of your marriage!
Check out these 18 fun and easy tips (plus lots of great resources and ideas) on how to flirt with your husband today.
Flirting with Your Husband: It's About More Than Sex
The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex: (And You Thought Bad Girls Have All the Fun) If you're looking for a great resource on how to have better sex in Christian marriage, I would highly recommend The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex by Sheila Gregoire. This book is informative without being dirty.
And yes, of course, it can be a great help in learning how to flirt with your husband I'm all for having good sex. But honestly, flirting–like marriage–can be about so much more than just physical intimacy.
Discover that and you'll feed the fire of sexual intimacy as an awesome extra! Let's talk more about what flirting (that doesn't lead to sex) can look like.
What Does Flirting With Your Spouse Look Like?
We often think that flirting with our spouse has to mean bringing flowers, sending love notes and sexy lingerie.
Sure those things are nice, but that doesn't have to be all that flirting is.
And flirting doesn't have to be anything huge! Flirting is about knowing what makes your spouse smile. What makes their day. What would be a help to them.
Check out this video for a fun flirting idea (something fun my husband and I spontaneously did together)!
What If My Spouse Never Flirts With Me?
I totally hear you. We are busy, stressed people and marriage isn't always about one big flirt-fest. My spouse also travels a bit, so flirting in person isn't always a possibility.
You just do your part. You be the one to flirt first. Don't worry about if your husband isn't reciprocating right away, or if it isn't equal.
Flirting with your husband may even be a sacrifice at first. That's fine. Just do one thing today to flirt with your husband. And then tomorrow, do another.
If it's difficult, ask God to renew your hearts and to rediscover flirting as a way to regularly show love.
Learning how to flirt with your husband an important way to strengthen your relationship!
18 Easy Ways to Flirt With Your Husband Today
Flirting with your husband doesn't have to be confined by a set of “dos” and “don'ts.” Every couple has different ways to flirt and show love to each other!
Relax, have fun flirting with your husband (and let these 18 fun flirty ideas inspire you)!
1) Just-Between-You Jokes. You know the ones. When one of you says that phrase from that movie, it makes you laugh and giggle (and no one else knows why)!
2) A Smile. My hubby has this little grin. And when he shows me that authentic smile from across the room, my heart melts!
3) Special Outfit. I know there are certain outfits that he likes that I wear. And sometimes I “encourage” him to wear a certain shirt (because he looks really cute in it). It's fun to wear something that you know your husband thinks you look great in it.
4) Do Chores for Each Other. No, really! When I was growing up, my mom had a refrigerator magnet that said, “I love a man with dishpan hands.” I never fully understood that until I had a sink of dirty dishes facing me every day! If my husband cleans up the kitchen unexpectedly, I am one happy wife.
5) Cologne. I really, really like it when my husband wears a certain cologne. I always joke with him, “You smell too good to leave this house.” Speaking of that…
6) Enjoy Being Sexual Together. What is the best frequency for you as a couple? It's not about comparing ourselves to other couples. Married sex is also not about lust, but about connection. It's so easy to let making love slide as a priority, but my husband and I have found that regular times of making love bring much needed closeness and keep the spark alive between us.
P.S. Can I suggest these posts as places to get more perspective on the very sensitive (but so important) topic of married sex? Each are clean and talk about sex as a blessing in Christian marriage:
- The Surprising Secret to Better Sex for Christians
- Why Christian Marriages Need More Sex Than Ever
- 63 Incredible Resources for Better Sex in Christian Marriage
7) Write “Just Because” Texts. A “just thinking of you” text in the middle of the day is always awesome. Or even little things like letting him know you're praying for him can go a long way.
8) Love Notes. I adore these little notes! Or even a post-it note works! Sometimes I put a quick love note in my husband's suitcase if he's traveling, or I put them on his desk in our home office. This post has lots of fun spins on the love note idea!
9) Spontaneous Physical Affection. Sometimes I stop to give my husband a hug while I'm making dinner. Or I'll go into his office and give him a quick hug and kiss. Not anything that will lead to something huge, but just ways to keep the fire going.
10) Laugh! You've got to admit it–life is just darn funny sometimes. It seems like there's always something extra crazy to laugh about going on at our house. We also have a handful of movies we watch from time to time that crack us up and keep us laughing.
11) Regular Chat Times. My love languages are quality time and words of affirmation. So flirting to me often equals 15 minutes alone with my spouse to talk about the day. And speaking of chatting…
12) Read the Bible Together. Each week, we try to spend several times together discussing God's word and praying over our family. I shared about that here (and how to make couples devotions a regular habit–one without guilt!).
13) Holding Hands. We try to do this while watching a movie, walking into church, going on a hike, etc. With four kids around us, it's not easy, but when we remember to do it, it's a wonderful way to flirt. Here's more resources on how to be more physically affectionate with your spouse.
14) Sit Close to Each Other. We heard at a marriage conference once that our brains are affected on a chemical level when we simply holds hands with our spouse or somehow let our bodies touch. That's amazing to me!
15) Massage. Sure, there can be dedicated times of couples massage (here are some great couples massage tips!) but everyday things like rubbing his neck while he's driving are simple and easy ways to flirt with my husband!
16) Watch a Romantic Movie Together. Here's a great list of romantic movies to inspire flirting with your spouse!
17) Build Your Relationship. Keep your relationship light, your friendship strong and your marriage centered on Christ. Here is an amazing devotional to build connection and conversation that will keep your marriage strong (and filled with flirting!)
18) Regularly Enjoy Date Nights. Here's how we make it happen… even as busy parents of four kids!
Other Awesome Books to Help You Learn How to Flirt with Your Husband
The Mediterranean Love Plan: 7 Secrets to Lifelong Passion in MarriageRed-Hot Monogamy: Making Your Marriage Sizzle
Other Marriage Posts That Can Inspire Flirting
- 57 Top Romantic Movies for Stay at Home Date Nights
- Why Christian Marriages Need More Sex than Ever
- Why a Daily Check-In Makes All the Difference in Our Marriage
- 130 Creative Ways to Say I Love You to Your Spouse
- 26 Ways Busy Parents Can Have More Date Nights
- The Surprising Secret to Better Sex in Christian Marriage
More Romance and Flirting in a Marriage Starts with Better Communication
Communication and marital closeness make romance and flirting natural and fun! One of the best ways we've found for maintaining closeness is by working through a couples devotional together.
If you'd like some great wisdom for spiritual growth in your marriage (including a proven, 30-day roadmap to better marriage communication), I highly encourage you to check out our pick for best couples devotional: Consecrated Conversations from Mike and Carlie Kercheval.
This awesome couples devotional from my dear friends (and marriage coaches) Mike + Carlie Kercheval goes deep on important topics that matter to Christian couples (everything from forgiveness to communication issues to better sex). I love that it's goal is to help you create the healthy habit of better marriage communication in 30 days or less!
This best-selling couples devotional has helped over 16,000 couples build a better marriage!
The Kerchevals, certified marriage coaches, Bible teachers and an awesome married couple of over 21 years, will introduce you to a 30 day, step-by-step proven process for learning:
- how to pray together as a couple
- how to read the Bible as a couple
- how to better communicate about important marriage issues
With three sections in each devotion (including a Bible verse, “Converse & Reflect” questions, and a sample prayer), this marriage resource encourages couples to discover intimacy in marriage like never before.
Go here to download your copy of Consecrated Conversations.
About Alicia Michelle
Alicia Michelle is a certified NeuroCoach™, Bible teacher, speaker and host of The Christian Mindset Coach Podcast and You Tube Show. More importantly, she’s a lover of Jesus, a wife of 21 years to her best friend, and mom of four amazing kids ages 19 to 10. Alicia struggled with overthinking, negative thoughts and “being enough” for most of her adult life until God radically transformed her heart after a life-threatening medical crisis. Now through her signature courses and coaching programs she loves equipping women with practical, scientific and biblically-based mindset tools to help them overcome negative thought patterns and discover more confident, joyful lives in Christ. Listen to her on the podcast or on You Tube; download free workshop trainings at VibrantChristianLiving.com; and connect on Facebook and Instagram.
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