I see you at the park, the store or next to me at our homeschool co-op.
And I can't help but notice our silent conversation.
I look into your eyes and I see a tension… a longing. Believe it or not, some days I feel that same tension too.
With a certain look, a shrug, or a too-bright smile, we both exhibit these ugliest of emotions between sisters:
Envy. Jealousy. Comparison. Or what I call mom competition.
Of course we would never admit this to each other. We only access these bitter places in the most honest of moments when we finally admit that we’ve been making unrealistic demands of ourselves, and we are digging to discover the “why” behind them.
That’s when we can finally see the despicable weed of comparison that’s bloomed between us: the ugly shrub that now horribly skews our perception of what makes the homeschooling life “bad” or “good.”
And we realize that we’ve judged ourselves (and others) in the name of what we've deemed to be the “correct” answer of how a mom “should be.”
We realize that we've reduced our mom relationships to a comparison game where we’ve placed ourselves on a pedestal side-by-side: one party being “right,” and the other being “wrong.” Which, sadly, reduces our friendships to a checklist of who’s-doing-what-better.
So here's my ultimate question: If we all truly want more connections and deeper friendships, why must we act like this with each other? Why?
That's the topic I'm exploring at this post on Today's Frugal Mom.
I'm honestly confessing my part in this everyday mom competition, and I'm sharing my thoughts on how we can re-frame the mom competition into something truly healthy.
Other posts or resources that also talk about mom competition:
Let's encourage each other in this and be proud of our own (imperfect) journey!
No more mom competition!