237: Fresh Starts: When It’s Time to Move Forward After a Painful Season
This year has been painful for so many of us but with God’s support, emotional healing, and the right tools, it is possible to move forward! Whether you have gone through hard times or feel a transition season upon you, many of us see the new year as a fresh start. I am here to lovingly remind you that we have to do more than just hope for a change, we have to take concrete action in starting over.
Join me in this episode of The Christian Mindset Coach as I discuss how to deal with the pain that we are still carrying from this year, the differences between counseling and coaching, and how having a coach can help you step into the life that you desire.
If you are tired of coming into the new year with a lack of support around your hopes and dreams, you’re invited to do something different. The “Onward + Upward” Group Coaching Program was created to support you in goal setting and to help you make a plan to show up well in life transitions! Learn more and apply now here.
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:
- [01:28] A New Year Doesn’t Necessarily Mean That Things Are Going to Change
- [03:40] We Have The Power to Decide How We Show Up In The New Year
- [05:57] Two Strategies We Can Use to Move Through Pain – Counseling & Coaching
- [11:00] Coaching – A Tool to Help You Get Where You Want to Go
- [16:18] APPLY NOW: The “Onward + Upward” Group Coaching Experience
[01:28] A New Year Doesn’t Necessarily Mean That Things Are Going to Change
As we approach the new year, many of us are thinking “I cannot wait to start over fresh and let go of the past”. We often forget that the turn of the year does not mean that things are automatically going to change. We have lived through enough new years to recognize that on January 1st, we are still facing the same issues, the same people in our lives, and the same problems. The new year has the potential to be exactly the same, so we have to ask ourselves “How can we make the new year different?” Nothing is going to change in our lives if we are being passive, hoping for change, and letting life pass us by.
I know many of us want change and relief after a painful year, but healing is not going to come through wishful thinking, distraction, or escaping through holiday events. We put a lot of hype into the holidays and I believe that many people go through a depressive state afterward because once the new year comes, everything goes back to normal. Today I invite you to do something different so that this upcoming year does not have the same story for you!
[03:40] We Have The Power to Decide How We Show Up In The New Year
With that being said, we do have the power to decide how we are going to show up in the new year. If you are ready to make a change and are tired of dealing with the same things in life that are causing you pain, I am here to help. I am not going to promise you that we can erase the pain because many things are out of our control. At the same time, we can equip ourselves with a shift in our mindset and the strength from God, to persevere and to look at those situations from a different perspective. We can also take concrete actions like setting boundaries, stepping into new things, and releasing what is not ours to hold on to. Even if we cannot erase the pain, we can do very specific things to create a different reality.
In 2023 maybe you have lost a loved one, lost a job, feel exhausted from being a caretaker, have had a problem in your marriage, are tired of your career, got concerning news from your doctor, or you are just worn out and tired. No matter what it is, many of us are working through some sort of pain and we all have the power to be able to find some sort of healing from it.
[05:57] Two Strategies We Can Use to Move Through Pain – Counseling & Coaching
When we are moving through painful moments, we can ask ourselves two questions that can lead us to a helpful strategy:
Question One: “Do I need healing from the trauma, pain, or grief I have had this year by looking back and processing it?”
Question Two: “Do I need direction to move forward and to look for what's next?”
If you relate to the first question, counseling will help you get the healing you need to process old wounds. I have found that if there is a deep trauma or grief, this needs to be addressed and worked through first. When there is so much pain in this moment from the past, it is hard to look toward the future. If you need a great resource for a Christian counselor, there are many options on BetterHelp. They can hook you up with a counselor who is a good fit for you and the needs that you have in this season.
If you relate more to the second question, coaching will help you gain direction to move forward with the Holy Spirit’s guidance. If you feel like you do not need to dive into your past, but instead you need support to get to where you need to go, coaching is a great option. Coaching is forward-facing and helps you figure out what is next for you, how to overcome the obstacles along the way and provides accountability and support to make change a reality!
[11:00] Coaching – A Tool to Help You Get Where You Want to Go
So what is coaching? Coaching is not about someone telling you the answers or telling you what to do. That’s more of an advisor or consultant's job. My job as a coach is to ask powerful questions that help uncover your needs and the direction that you are looking to go. This is done in a safe environment where you can share, process, and be heard. Together we can come up with the best action step, goal, or outcome for you in the season you are in.
As a Christian coach, the coaching that I do is led by the Holy Spirit. We trust and partner with Him in a coaching framework. Asking Him what He wants for our lives and to illuminate the things that are hindering our growth and keeping us from stepping into this version of ourselves. As a coach, it is my job to walk alongside you and ask questions to help you move towards where you need to be. Some powerful questions we explore in coaching sessions are:
-What are the bottlenecks that are keeping you from moving forward in this pain and finding healing?
-What are the mindsets that you need to adopt?
-Do you need to process this pain, see it from a new perspective, and move forward?
-What are the ways of thinking that you need to let go of?
-What are the things that are no longer helpful?
-What are the things that are keeping you stuck in this cycle of pain and not allowing you to move forward?
I also find that asking “What is your responsibility in this season?” helps bring massive clarity to many of my clients. They start to realize what they are not in charge of and that helps them move forward and take action on their responsibilities.
Questions that relate to safety are also very important. By asking, “What are the things that are keeping me from feeling safe within the Lord?” and then taking action on those things by acknowledging and sitting with fear, we can trust God to move to that next level.
My job is to be curious for you and for what you want. To know your values and past experiences (and to know how those experiences may be affecting where you are now), and to know the bigger vision of where you want to get to. Then to give you space as you work through the process of healing while being seen and heard, and working with the Holy Spirit to say “What’s next?”
I know that it is difficult to look at the things that are painful in our lives, especially when they relate to the core values that we have established around family, relationships, our purpose, or our career. There have been things that have wounded us in life and this is hard to deal with. It takes much less mental effort and bravery to just sit at home, push a button on Netflix, and drown out things that are coming up for you to work through. But avoiding and distracting is not going to get you past this and I want to remind you that the Holy Spirit wants you to find healing.
[16:18] APPLY NOW (Space Limited!): The “Onward + Upward” Group Coaching Program
If you’re ready to move forward past pain and toward God’s good plans for you, I would encourage you to check out the 12-week “Onward + Upward” Group Coaching Program that starts in January.
This is a unique group coaching program that’s perfect for women who:
–desire Holy Spirit-led direction, accountability and community through a new life season
–have goals they are working towards yet feel as if there are obstacles in the way.
–have worked through their grief and trauma enough that they are not in a tender spot but are ready to ask God what is next for them.
Maybe you are an empty nester, maybe you are going through a divorce or separation, maybe you are going through a big move, or maybe your children are getting older and do not need you anymore. What is the life transition that is gripping your heart right now? If you are in a place where you feel like you can either process that grief and trauma in a counseling-related place while also and want support in what life will look like moving forward or you are past it enough to begin looking forward, then please consider joining us for this experience. Apply now here.
If you’re someone who wants a fresh start in the new year and wants accountability, encouragement and support behind to make your hopes and dreams come true, then the Onward + Upward Group Coaching Experience could be a perfect fit!
In the “Onward + Upward” Group Coaching Program, you will get one-on-one support from me and teachings in a group setting around the things that keep us from moving forward. You will be able to connect with this group of ladies in a meaningful way as you move into a new area of life.
This program is by application only and will only be available for a limited number of women so if this is calling to you, please apply today! I would love to help you move past the pain of this year and step into God’s greater calling for your life.
RESOURCES:
“Onward + Upward” Group Coaching
OTHER RELATED EPISODES:
226: How to Honestly Process Pain Before a Loving God When Life Is Hard with Dr. Michelle Bengston
235: Join me! Group Coaching: Let's Go Onward + Upward in Your Godly Calling in 2024
236: It's Safe for You to Become the Woman God Intends You to Be
APPLY NOW: Onward + Upward Group Coaching Starts in Early 2024!
Would you like accountability as support as you make big changes in your life, pursue a dream or seek God for what's next in this season?
If that's you, apply now for my brand new group coaching experience: “Onward + Upward” Group Coaching.
Imagine if you could have 12 weeks of one-on-one coaching support and caring community to help you confidently create a step-by-step action plan to meet your goals, work through the obstacles along the way, and grow spiritually as you seek God's best plans for your life!
“Onward + Upward” Group Coaching Experience is the perfect mix of 1:1 coaching with Alicia and group teaching/support. It's a great if you're looking for:
–personalized guidance from a trained Christian coach
–accountability and encouragement to overcome obstacles
–help hearing God's voice and establishing priorities in this unique season
–practical tools to work through inner fears and increase Christ-centered confidence
NOTE: Space is extremely limited and is by application only. If you're interested, don't wait!
Apply now at VibrantChristianLiving.com/coaching .