How can we find hope in the darkness and get a new perspective in hard times? Listen to this conversation I had with Pastor Alan Wright about learning to see our life through Jesus’ perspective, what masks our ability to see God’s take on a situation, and why it is important to have Jesus as our tour guide. Although it might feel impossible to see the light during these moments or seasons of life, let’s talk about how walking with Jesus to renew your mind in hard times can restore our hope and confidence through everyday trials.
Alan Wright is the lead pastor of Reynolda Church in North Carolina and the author of the book “Seeing As Jesus Sees”, which he and Alicia discuss in this episode.
WHAT YOU’LL LEARN:
- [04:20] How Our Perception Affects Our Purpose and Daily Joy
- [07:11] “God, Am I Seeing This Correctly?”
- [09:26] Jesus Helps Us See What We Are Missing
- [14:13] False Perceptions That Get in The Way of Our Relationships
- [16:14] Seeing Ourselves Through Jesus’ Eyes
- [19:52] Changing Our Prayers from “Save Me from This” to “Help Me See What I Need to See”
- [25:40] How Do Anger and Grief Shape Our Perspective?
- [32:10] “Jesus, How Do You Want Me to See This?”
- [40:09] From Alicia: What If You Imagined God Next To You In This Hard Situation?
[04:20] How Our Perception Affects Our Purpose and Daily Joy
Alan shares that despite the hard times he is going through, he is grateful. Having this perspective is important because how we see things determines how we think, feel, and behave. He shares that nobody believes a lie on purpose, their perception causes them to believe that it is true. Our life then begins to shape based on how we see things. Alan shares a personal story where his father, who was beloved in their community, struggled with alcoholism. In an alcoholic family, there is a lot of shame and you inevitably begin to see life through that lens.
Alan goes on to share the story of a man on a subway to further highlight the power of our perceptions: A businessman gets on the subway after a long day and a man gets on with his rowdy sons. The businessman starts to wonder why the father is not doing anything and the inattentive father starts to bother him more than the boys. He starts thinking, “This is the problem with America today, if I were in his shoes I would be doing XYZ.” And then he said to the man “Sir, don’t you see that your boys are bothering people?” and the man said, “Sorry, I am in a fog, their mother just died in the hospital” The businessman’s attitude completely changed because he then saw this situation for what it was. This is the power of our perception and seeing the story from a different lens.
[07:11] “God, Am I Seeing This Correctly?”
Alan shares that we’re not changed by trying harder to be a good Christian or by our desire to be more patient. We are changed when our perception and vision change. Only then can impatience turn to compassion, frustration turn to kindness, and inner turmoil turn into love.
We often feel as if we are seeing things through the right lens but often we realize that we’re not. This is why Jesus said, “I am the light of the world and I do not want you stumbling in the darkness.” Part of his mission is to open our physical and spiritual eyes to see the truth.
For years, Alan has been praying to Jesus and saying “How do you see this? Because I may not be seeing it correctly.” He realizes that the way he is seeing things could be coming from his lens of shame, frustration, or stress. This simple spiritual practice of asking Jesus how he sees things is one of the most important avenues toward internal change.
Alicia shares that what we choose to believe becomes our truth and that shapes our actions. It is a great prayer to ask God for that wisdom because, from our limited perspective, we do not know what God is seeing from this situation unless we ask.
[09:26] Jesus Helps Us See What We Are Missing
Asking Jesus for what He sees not only helps us to see what we are seeing incorrectly but also what we are missing. Our brains often get tricked by our visual perception and we could be missing wonder, beauty, or opportunity. Alan shares about the “Invisible Gorilla Study” and how inattentive blindness happens to about 50% of people. When we are so focused on something, we may end up missing something else.
Alan admits that he has spent so much time trying to get it right rather than seeing what there is to see. When our vision is blurry we cannot see things correctly or we might miss the “Grand Canyons” that are right in front of us which would spark joy.
One of the downfalls of humanity is that we look at things through a specific lens, he says. We can see things through our anger and wonder why things are happening to us but they could be happening for the greater good. For example, Alan had a sewage leak in his house and although this has been a burden, the contractor also said that there was mold in his walls that had been there for some time. So if you look at it through that lens, it lends a different perspective.
[14:13] False Perceptions That Get in The Way of Our Relationships
The perspective that we have shapes how we feel about life. When it comes to our relationships, Alan has seen the horrors that come from even the tiniest seeds of judgment. When you start to have these feelings, then that lens becomes the only way that you view this other person. When we start to use “always or never” this judgment also clouds our vision and then we are looking for that behavior.
Alan says that you can see the healing power of the Holy Spirit when someone's eyes are unveiled. With this comes forgiveness and love. If we do not pray this prayer for any other reason, it would be worth it for our relationships.
[16:14] Seeing Ourselves Through Jesus’ Eyes
Alan divided his book into three categories: how we see ourselves, others, and the world. We can often see ourselves through the lens of shame, disappointment, and regret. This leads us to see ourselves as disqualified because of our failings. But Jesus does not shame or put a bad label on someone.
Alan shares that if we saw ourselves through Jesus's eyes, we might see that a little faith can get us a lot further than we realize. For example, two men can get on a plane and one is used to flying so he sleeps and the other does not fly and he is a nervous wreck. Although they both spend that time on the flight differently, since they both have some amount of faith, they land safely.
[19:52] Changing Our Prayers from “Save Me from This” to “Help Me See What I Need to See”
Alicia shares that when we believe that we do not have enough faith or a limited perspective, we need to have compassion for ourselves. It is not that God is yelling at or shaming us, He’s saying “I understand what it is like to live in a world where there is anxiety and things that keep you afraid. I want to walk with you in that and help you to see something different.” It is not that you have to work harder to get Jesus’ perspective or have the right perspective – He wants to walk with you.
This is why Alan shifts his prayers to “Help me see what I need to see” instead of “Help me overcome this fear I am in”. Once you begin to see with His eyes, it changes things, Alan says.
Alan shares a story where he went to a haunted house when he was little. A man in a costume decided to pick on him, his brother stood up for him, and then the man backed off. This is a great illustration of fear and faith. His brother was not saying “I am not going to be afraid” over and over again, he just saw a man in a costume whereas Alan saw a monster.
Faith is not self-discipline to get mental assent to biblical truth. It is not us saying “I need to believe” over and over again. God wants us to be able to have a new perspective that changes our sense of security in him. And as we are seeing it more as he sees it, then faith is born.
Alan invites us to have Jesus be our tour guide and let Him show us what we cannot see. He shares a story where he and his wife did not want to pay for a tour guide and they got to an archeological site and it just looked like rocks. They made their way into a few tours and this made a world of difference because they now knew what they were looking at. Alan’s book is an invitation to let Jesus be your tour guide and allow yourself to walk alongside Him in the stories of the Scripture. It is good to look at Him, listen to Him, and learn from Him, but we can also look with Him.
[25:40] How Do Anger and Grief Shape Our Perspective?
Alan wonders if sometimes our anger is masking the deeper issue which is grief. Years ago he heard the line “Our blocked goals cause our anger.” When we confuse a goal, something we can change and control, with a desire, something that we pray about, this is where grief comes in. When we take a desire, make it a goal, and it does not turn out the way we wanted, then we start to become angry. The Holy Spirit will come help us in our grief but if we cover it up with anger, then we cannot gain the support we need, he says.
Alan asserts that every Evangelical Christian today is asking “How can we not just be mad at all of the things that have happened around us?” Alan has studied the world that Jesus ministered in and it was awful. But when we start to see as Jesus sees, we begin to grieve and pray a lot more. Jesus saw sinners like “Sheep who were harassed without a shepherd.” He did not judge them and say they were the problem in the world. He saw that they were under spiritual persecution, from a foe who was unseen but real, and they were being harassed. He had compassion for them as we should for others today.
Alicia believes that anger is an easier answer than sadness. Sadness is uncomfortable. It's much easier to just be right, have an opinion, and say what needs to happen. Grief feels like you are giving up and empowering a loss. This is not the case, you are just admitting it. And when we can admit it, this allows us to step into the next phase of life and enter it from a different space.
Alan also shares that relationships can change dramatically when you are willing to be in touch with the grief and disappointment that you have. The healing in relationships is going to come when you allow yourself the feel the grief and invite God into it.
[32:10] “Jesus, How Do You Want Me to See This?”
Alan shares that the power of a short prayer–something like “Jesus, how do you want me to see this?”– is something you can easily incorporate into your day. It is all about taking a moment to connect with Jesus and seeking to see things from His perspective. This pause becomes a form of worship, allowing for a deep, meaningful connection with the divine. It is about finding peace and a sense of calm through this practice, which is such a contrast to the everyday chaos.
Alan’s reminds us that God is looking “beside us” at our situation. He is not looking down on us through the difficulty. There is a partnership that is happening. Alan likes to see himself “shoulder to shoulder” with Christ. We can walk beside Him and start to look at what He is looking at, and this makes it easier to welcome His perspective.
Alan shares that sometimes Jesus’ “come and see with me” is more about sharing beauty with someone than following an ideology. This is what it means to have the eyes of our hearts enlightened, to see the hope of our calling the riches of our inheritance, and the power that is at work and through us. That is what it means to have a share in the mind of Christ.
[40:09] From Alicia: What If You Imagined God Next To You In This Hard Situation?
One of the biggest takeaways from this conversation is that imagining God next to us as we are walking through something, can be so enlightening. Just as it was impactful for Alan to have a tour guide to gain more knowledge and insight, it is empowering to walk with Jesus and gain His perspective on things.
When I was in Italy, I saw over and over again how impactful it was to have even just a little bit of knowledge from a tour guide, a friend, or someone who knew the area. When you see things for what they are, you will have so much more respect and awe for what is happening in front of you.
I want to invite you to take some time this week to bring before the Lord those things that you are tired of dealing with or need a perspective on. Think of yourself as standing next to Jesus at a historical site and imagine Him having a different view of what is ahead. Imagine the wisdom He would share with you and ask him questions such as:
-What is it that I'm not seeing?
-What is it that I might need to let go of?
-What is it that I might need to grieve?
-Where is the frustration and the darkness that I'm feeling coming from?
Allow yourself to receive a different take from him. If you need help with a new perspective I highly recommend that you do this even if it is just for 15 minutes. Those little glimpses and new habits of connecting with Him in this way allow us to grow in our faith and make it practical to see Jesus in our everyday lives. And if you need me to encourage and pray for you, I would love to do that. You can always reach out to me on Instagram and I would love to be able to offer Biblical truths or wisdom!
RESOURCES:
FREE WORKSHOP: How to Break Free from Feeling “Never Enough”
148: Find More Joy in Your Life This Year with This Powerful Mindset Switch
162: 7 Ways to Stay Strong During a Spiritual Battle
203: You have Permission to Savor the Good Despite the Pain and Fear
Connect with Alan:
Alan Wright is the lead pastor of Reynolda Church in North Carolina and the author of the book “Seeing As Jesus Sees”, which he and Alicia discuss in this episode.
FREE WORKSHOP: How to Break Free from Feeling “Never Enough”
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