What do you do after you've gotten angry at your kids? You want to apologize for your mom anger, but you also want them to know that their behavior was unacceptable, right?
As a mom of four kids, I can completely relate!
How do we apologize for our mommy anger while still communicating our frustration with our kids' behavior?
How can we turn our mom anger into a moment of positive connection with our kids that lets them know that anger isn't OK (but that we parents aren't perfect and sometimes need forgiveness too)?
When I get angry, here are the five steps that I take to transform my mommy anger into a teachable moment with my kids.
You'll learn how to:
- Apologize effectively for your actions
- Help your children see their mistakes (in a grace-filled way)
- Guide them towards better behavior
- Offer forgiveness and God's hope
I'm sharing this because every mom deals with anger. Of course we want to avoid anger altogether, but we are all works in progress moving toward becoming our best selves. Should you get angry at your kids (like we all do from time to time), I want to share these five steps so that you can turn a painful parenting moment into a teachable moment with your kids.
When You Get Angry at Your Kids (You're Not Alone)
Even if we're working to control our mommy anger, we moms can still get angry from time to time and possibly say things we shouldn't to our kids. Again, it's not that it's OK to get angry at our kids, but I want to let you know that it's common and it's something that every mom has to work through.
The question isn't how to eliminate mommy anger completely (because this is impossible), but how to handle it positively when it arises.
However, I don't want to negate the seriousness of dealing with mommy anger. Go here and here for more strategies on how to deal with mommy anger. I'd also encourage you to learn more about a very helpful video course for moms on how to handle anger in a healthy way.
5 Steps to Turn Mommy Anger Into a Teachable Moment
- Give an honest, heartfelt apology for your angry words and angry action.
- Bridge the conversation to the child's actions that may have provoked your anger.
- Allow the child to see how his/her choices affect other's behavior.
- Offer forgiveness and share about God's love.
- Mend the bond by finding a way to connect with the child in a positive way.
That's the general formula, but I want to give you more details about each step, including sample conversation starters and helpful Bible verses to share with each step.
This is your “cheat sheet” to how to successfully transform mommy anger into a teachable moment!
The best part? You can print out this expanded “cheat sheet” version of the 5 step method now, which means you'll have it in your hands to better prepare yourself for the next time you deal with mommy anger.
This plug-and-play method will help you grow closer to your child and give you a powerful way to share what you really want to say.
The Bible verses referenced are even completely written out so that everything is in one place.
The 5-step method will transform these challenging anger moments into a chance to share firsthand with your kids about grace, forgiveness and God's love.
And having it in one place–having a “cheat sheet”–makes the conversation that much easier!
Again, just to be clear, we're not making excuses for mommy anger (learn about how to deal with mommy anger here), but this 5-step method gives you the tools to turn a negative situation into a positive one that grows your relationship with your child during those moments when you may mess up.
Once you've downloaded this freebie, give it a try and let me know in the comments how it works for you!
Other Posts on Mom Anger
And course, the “7 Days to a Less Angry Mom™” online course is an excellent resource!