Real, heartfelt connection is what most of us crave in marriage. And yet, the hustle of everyday life can easily squeeze out that much-needed connection time. I'm convinced this simple intentional marriage habit is what has kept my marriage thriving and kept our marriage communication healthy even in the busiest seasons.
It's not much. Just 15 minutes, once a day.
But a daily time to talk with my husband–this one simple habit–has made a world of difference in our marriage.
I know this to be true because our relationship seems “off-kilter” somehow when we let this habit slide.
Here's a glimpse into this incredibly simple (but powerful!) habit, and ideas on how you can easily add this habit into your marriage.
P.S. If you're looking for something to guide your daily conversations with your spouse, I highly recommend Consecrated Conversations by my dear friends (and marriage coaches) Mike + Carlie Kercheval.
Ready to hear about how you can build this 15 minute habit into your marriage so you can continually revitalizes your relationship?
Our Daily Marriage Habit That Pays Dividends
It’s 5:00 p.m., and from my kitchen window, I can see the sun is setting.
As the warm afternoon rays send a dreamy glow to the rural scenery outside, I hear my husband’s voice say one word from across the kitchen: “Ready?”
I turn to him, smile and say, “Yes.”
We each grab a small snack and walk outside to our backyard porch swing.
It has become our favorite place to spend our daily check-ins—those 15 minutes we spend everyday that keeps our friendship close and our marriage strong.
And while the kids and I also love to snuggle up and read stories before nap time here, I like to think that the swing is happiest when it’s holding my husband and I.
While I would love to tell you that all our conversations are deep and thought-provoking, that would simply not be true.
Most days they’re simple glimpses into everyday family life: daily reports about how the kids are doing in school, upcoming events for the week, frustrations with work… that sort of thing.
And other times we just collapse into the swing exhausted, its gentle swaying a soothing balm for two people who overcommit, make mistakes and need rest from a busy life.
Sometimes we dream—about places we want to travel to, things we want to do with the kids—or we spend time in prayer as we connect with our Heavenly Father.
But always we’re holding hands and staring into the distance. That to me is the best part of all.
P.S. Sometimes we need a little inspiration on what to talk about. We pull out one of our favorite devotionals, like Consecrated Conversations.
This awesome couples devotional goes deep on important topics that matter to Christian couples (everything from forgiveness to communication issues to sex). I love that it's goal is to help you create the healthy habit of better marriage communication in 30 days or less!
This best-selling couples devotional has helped over 16,000 couples build a better marriage!
The Kerchevals, certified marriage coaches, Bible teachers and an awesome married couple of over 21 years, will introduce you to a 30 day, step-by-step proven process for learning:
- how to pray together as a couple
- how to read the Bible as a couple
- how to better communicate about important marriage issues
With three sections in each devotion (including a Bible verse, “Converse & Reflect” questions, and a sample prayer), this marriage resource encourages couples to discover intimacy in marriage like never before.
Consecrated Conversations is a digital resource, which means my husband and I don't need to carry a book around because we have this powerful couples devotional available right on our phones or tablets. Yes!
And there's a bonus video workshop ($97 value!) and 30 scripture cards ($17 value) to go with the devotional!
I love how practical this couples devotional is, and how Mike and Carlie really encourage couples to invite God into their marriage discussions. Only God is the one that can bring true satisfaction, contentment and unity in marriage, right?
I also appreciate that Consecrated Conversations understands the big needs of Christian couples: that we want to communicate and connect with our spouses and we're disappointed and hurt that we can't seem to make it happen. Consecrated Conversations is a specific, proven roadmap for a closer marriage for Christian couples.
I highly recommend this marriage devotional to many couples as the best couples devotional out there! Order your copy here.
P.S. Did I mention that this couples devotional experience (that includes an e-book, a video workshop, and scripture cards) is an INSANE value?! It's only $47 for $161 worth of content.
The Best 15 Minute Investment In Our Marriage
We call this 15 minute investment in our marriage our “daily check in.” And I can't tell you how this simple daily habit continually makes a profound difference in our marriage!
Why does our “daily check-in” make such a difference? First, it reminds my husband and I to stop—to look around us and remember that that there’s a deeper foundation for the sometimes overwhelming chaos of daily family activities.
Our marriage is that core place where our family begins and ends. These daily check-ins remind us that if we don’t nurture this most critical aspect, our entire family structure will begin to break apart.
Second, it is an important release of the everyday emotions and thoughts swirling around inside us. I’m often the talker and my husband is the listener (it’s just that way since he’s a more introverted guy) and I often feel my stress melting away as we bounce ideas off each other and ground each other in biblical truth.
Together we work to untangle the complicated feelings that can easily lead our family decisions down the wrong path, and we strategize together as we look at the big-picture-goal of serving God as a family.
This Simple Marriage Habit Can Bless Your Marriage Too
Our daily check-in isn't always on our porch swing, of course (my husband travels, and somedays I have afternoon commitments with the kids), and it's not always at 5:00 p.m.
And that's my point. You don't need a porch swing. And the time of day doesn't matter.
You just need a commitment to make this daily connection happen.
Connect each day for at least 15 minutes in some way with your spouse, whether that’s driving together somewhere, chatting on FaceTime (if one of you is out of town), or even talking while making dinner together. Here's a great post on how to build the habit of daily time together in God's word.
It's a wonderful investment in your marriage that will keep your relationship vibrant and your friendship close.
Give it a try for several weeks and notice the changes!
This week, I pray you'd begin the daily habit of these simple-but-powerful moments with your spouse! It's a beautiful way to invest in your family and to grow closer as a couple!
Other Posts On Keeping a Marriage Strong and Creating Healthy Marriage Habits:
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- 130 Creative Ways to Say I Love You to Your Spouse
- 16 Fun & Easy Ways to Flirt with Your Husband
- 26 Ways Busy Parents Can Have More Date Nights
- 57 Top Romantic Movies for Stay at Home Date Nights
- 10 Ground Rules for Fighting Fair in Marriage
- 8 Best Couples Devotionals to Bless Your Marriage
- Romantic Love Quotes to Share with Your Spouse
- 8 Conversation Starters for Couples for Better Marriage Communication
- 5 Tips for Ongoing Marriage Issues that Drive You Crazy
Looking for a Couples Devotional to Help You Communicate Better with Your Spouse?
Consecrate Conversations is a best-selling couples devotional (and the #1 marriage devotional we recommend). I can't say enough good things about it! It really does help couples get to the heart of marriage issues, teaching us how to communicate with our spouses in loving, God-honoring ways.
Seriously, the Consecrated Conversations Devotional is an amazing bible study experience to do with your spouse! What are you waiting for?