Real, heartfelt connection is what most of us crave in marriage. And yet, the hustle of everyday life can easily squeeze out that much-needed connection time.
How are we supposed to have a strong marriage when our days are overloaded with well-intended activities?
I'm convinced it doesn't take a lot. In fact, this is the one intentional marriage habit that has kept our relationship thriving even in the busiest seasons.
It's not much. Just 15 minutes, once a day.
But a daily time to talk with my husband–this one simple habit–has made a world of difference in our marriage.
I know this to be true because our relationship seems “off-kilter” somehow when we let this habit slide.
Here's a glimpse into this incredibly simple (but powerful!) habit, and ideas on how you can easily add this habit into your marriage.
P.S. If you're looking for something to guide your daily conversations with your spouse, I highly recommend Consecrated Conversations by my dear friends Mike + Carlie Kercheval.
Ready to hear about how you can build this 15 minute habit into your marriage so you can continually revitalizes your relationship?
Our Daily Marriage Habit That Pays Dividends
It’s 5:00 p.m., and from my kitchen window, I can see the sun is setting.
As the warm afternoon rays send a dreamy glow to the rural scenery outside, I hear my husband’s voice say one word from across the kitchen: “Ready?”
I turn to him, smile and say, “Yes.”
We each grab a small snack and walk outside to our backyard porch swing.
It has become our favorite place to spend our daily check-ins—those 15 minutes we spend everyday that keeps our friendship close and our marriage strong.
And while the kids and I also love to snuggle up and read stories before nap time here, I like to think that the swing is happiest when it’s holding my husband and I.
While I would love to tell you that all our conversations are deep and thought-provoking, that would simply not be true.
Most days they’re simple glimpses into everyday family life: daily reports about how the kids are doing in school, upcoming events for the week, frustrations with work… that sort of thing.
And other times we just collapse into the swing exhausted, its gentle swaying a soothing balm for two people who overcommit, make mistakes and need rest from a busy life.
Sometimes we dream—about places we want to travel to, things we want to do with the kids—or we spend time in prayer as we connect with our Heavenly Father.
But always we’re holding hands and staring into the distance. That to me is the best part of all.
P.S. Sometimes we need a little inspiration on what to talk about. We pull out one of our favorite devotionals, like Consecrated Conversations.
The Best 15 Minute Investment In Our Marriage
We call this 15 minute investment in our marriage our “daily check in.”
And I can't tell you how this simple daily habit continually makes a profound difference in our marriage!
Why does our “daily check-in” make such a difference?
First, it reminds my husband and I to stop—to look around us and remember that that there’s a deeper foundation for the sometimes overwhelming chaos of daily family activities.
Our marriage is that core place where our family begins and ends. These daily check-ins remind us that if we don’t nurture this most critical aspect, our entire family structure will begin to break apart.
Second, it is an important release of the everyday emotions and thoughts swirling around inside us. I’m often the talker and my husband is the listener (it’s just that way since he’s a more introverted guy) and I often feel my stress melting away as we bounce ideas off each other and ground each other in biblical truth.
Together we work to untangle the complicated feelings that can easily lead our family decisions down the wrong path, and we strategize together as we look at the big-picture-goal of serving God as a family.
This Simple Commitment Can Bless Your Marriage Too
Our daily check-in isn't always on our porch swing, of course (my husband travels, and somedays I have afternoon commitments with the kids), and it's not always at 5:00 p.m.
And that's my point. You don't need a porch swing. And the time of day doesn't matter.
You just need a commitment to make this daily connection happen.
Connect each day for at least 15 minutes in some way with your spouse, whether that’s driving together somewhere, chatting on FaceTime (if one of you is out of town), or even talking while making dinner together.
It's a wonderful investment in your marriage that will keep your relationship vibrant and your friendship close.
Give it a try for several weeks and notice the changes!
This week, I pray you'd begin the daily habit of these simple-but-powerful moments with your spouse! It's a beautiful way to invest in your family and to grow closer as a couple!
Looking for a Couples Devotional for Your Daily Marriage Habit?
This awesome couples devotional goes deep on important topics that matter to Christian couples (everything from forgiveness to communication issues to sex).
With three sections in each devotion (including a Bible verse, “Converse & Reflect” questions, and a sample prayer), this marriage resource encourages couples to discover intimacy in marriage like never before.
I also appreciate that this book is available digitally. My husband and I don't need to carry a book around because we have this powerful couples devotional available right on our phones or tablets. Yes!
I love how practical this couples devotional is, and how Mike and Carlie really encourage couples to invite God into their marriage discussions!
I highly recommend this marriage devotional to many couples as the best couples devotional out there! Order your copy here.
Other Posts On Keeping a Marriage Strong:
- 63 Incredible Resources for Better Sex in Christian Marriage
- 130 Creative Ways to Say I Love You to Your Spouse
- 16 Fun & Easy Ways to Flirt with Your Husband
- 26 Ways Busy Parents Can Have More Date Nights
- 8 Best Couples Devotionals to Bless Your Marriage
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