How to Make SMART Marriage Goals with Your Spouse - Vibrant Christian Living

How to Make SMART Marriage Goals with Your Spouse

Whether it’s a wedding anniversary, a new year or anytime you and your spouse are ready to grow your marriage, setting marriage goals is always a great idea.

What are some examples of marriage goals? While there’s no perfect list of marriage goals for every couple, I’ve gathered 23 marriage goal examples (everything from how to have a better sex life to how to improve communication) to inspire you and your spouse.

Ready to set some awesome marriage goals and grow your marriage relationship? Let's get started!

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23 Examples of Marriage Goals

I’m not suggesting that you attempt all of these marriage goals, or even that all of these goals are applicable.

Instead, prayerfully read through this list of marriage goals and determine which ones could potentially be areas that you could invest in your marriage this year.

And, of course, this isn’t an exhaustive list. You may think of specific marriage goals you want to work on together that aren’t mentioned here.

I’ve also included links to helpful posts so that you can get additional resources and information on some of these topics.

5 Steps to Successfully Set Marriage Goals

1) Prayerfully consider potential marriage goals opportunities.

Take some time to individually write down some goals for your marriage. What parts of your marriage need some extra encouragement? What areas of your marriage are strong but with some small tweaks could be even stronger?

Be honest and grace-filled as you write down these words. No marriage will ever be perfect. Be encouraged that all of our marriages are continually in flux and are greatly affected by the other circumstances in our home (parenting issues, job issues, extended family issues, etc). 

If you need ideas of marriage goals or areas of your marriage to consider, take a look at the list above (and check out the links for additional info about these marriage topics).

2) Compare your individual marriage goal lists and discuss.

Then share your list with your spouse. Which marriage goals did you write down? Which marriage goals did your spouse write down?

Where was there overlap in your marriage goals? Were there any areas of marriage growth that your spouse wrote down that surprised you?

Talk about the marriage goals you each wrote down, doing your best to not point fingers or cast blame.

3) Compile your marriage goals list into 2-4 items.

Decide together which are the top 2-4 marriage goals that you’d like to pursue together this year.

Rewrite those items on a piece of paper titled “Our Marriage Goals”.

Brainstorm any resources that may be helpful to meet those goals and write them in the right hand column (remember—click on the links above to see resources, ideas and freebies for several of the marriage goals).

4) Draft SMART marriage goals.

Next, create SMART (specific, measurable, actionable, realistic and timely) marriage goals for each item on your list. 

For example, if you have a marriage goal to grow closer spiritually as a couple, your SMART marriage goal might be:

“Our marriage goal is to read a couples devotional together every Monday, Wednesday and Friday evening for 20 minutes after the kids are in bed.”

P.S. Go here to learn more about SMART goal planning (and why it's so effective!).

5) Stay accountable to your marriage goals.

Commit to talk about your marriage goals at least once a month (perhaps on a once-a-month date).

Better yet, share your goals with another couple so that they can hold you accountable (maybe they can set some marriage goals too and you can hold them accountable as well).

Are you making progress toward your goals? Do you need new resources or to shift things up? Tweak your goals as needed.

What If My Spouse Doesn’t Want to Set Marriage Goals?

Totally get it. Your marriage may be at a place where it’s impossible to talk reasonably with your spouse about goal setting. I completely understand if setting marriage goals just isn’t possible right now.

The good news is that you are still able to set marriage goals! Of course marriage goals are much easier met when both spouses are in agreement and can work together, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t work on your part of the marriage issues.

I’ve learned that marriages shift and change in different seasons. Sometimes one partner feels like they’re giving 90% of the work (and that’s incredibly frustrating). If you are stuck in one of those places, I highly encourage you to keep seeking God and to keep doing the right thing in your marriage. You can read more about my story on this topic here.

Free Helpful Resources for Marriage Goals

Discover free practical marriage advice that will encourage you toward your marriage goals.

Is Better Communication One of Your Marriage Goals? Here's a great resource:

If learning how to have better communication with your spouse is one of your marriage goals, I highly encourage you to pick up a great marriage devotional (here's my favorite, Consecrated Conversations, written by my dear friends, Mike and Carlie Kercheval).

Marriage devotionals give us great insight, perspective and wisdom. Best of all, reading couples devotions together get us in God's word together (which always changes us for the better!).

Maybe you need a little extra help in determining which marriage goals are important to focus on. 

Or maybe you need proven strategies to follow through with your marriage goals to make these changes in your marriage last for the long term. 

Either way, if you're serious about creating powerful marriage goals that transform your marriage, I highly recommend you check out Consecrated Conversations. It's a wonderful resource to help you explore some of the areas of your marriage that God may want you to address.

Go here to learn more and get access to this amazing  couples devotional that is a great biblically based marriage tool.


About Alicia Michelle

Alicia Michelle is a certified NeuroCoach™, Bible teacher, speaker and host of the Vibrant Christian Living Podcast and You Tube Show. More importantly, she’s a lover of Jesus, a wife of 20 years to her best friend, and mom of four amazing kids ages 18 to 9. Alicia struggled with overthinking, negative thoughts and “being enough” for most of her adult life until God radically transformed her heart after a life-threatening medical crisis. Now through her signature courses and coaching programs she loves equipping women with practical, scientific and biblically-based mindset tools to help them overcome negative thought patterns and discover more confident, joyful lives in Christ. Listen to her on the podcast or on You Tube; download great resources at; and connect on Facebook and Instagram.

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